Thursday, February 24, 2011

I Believe

This is the era of digitization of not only social status and relationships but the whole life. This generation of ours has been very lucky. Born in a time when companies like apple started and made computers and hence digitization available to public and then there was no looking back. When we were in adolescence Google came into existance. When we were graduating it was Facebook and Twitter. Well rely what a journey it has been for mankind. But then this should not stop this should be just the begining. I mean thats the role evolution plays and for that to happen some one has to think in a way different than what all are thinking. What I intend to say here is if Steve Jobs didnt think different then Apple would only be name of a fruit. Google would have been a spelling mistake if Larry Page didnot think different. There are people who will follow, they have been there through ages and they are the people who witness the evolution. They are the people who are mesmeried by the change and become a part of it. But then there are people of the other part of the planet who do not want to be part of the change. They think different and they are not satisfied with what they have. They want to give a new meaning to their life. Mark Zukerberg thought of something different before people could think of. Guess what he amalgamted all the social networks existing into a single portal. Facebook is the next best thing that people had in this decade after Google. But do you want to be content with this? Will this be the end of everything? Should we drown ourselves into these things so much so that we never think of moving ahead with something different? I dont think so and I know this wont happen. But what will be our contribution to the next best thing to be evovled. I seriously dont know what will that be and I seriously dont know what my contribution will be. But then I have taken a step in a direction. I have taken a decision to stop following to stop getting mesemrized. I dont know if this is the right or not but then I have taken a step. I have made my mind cause I believe that I want to contribute something and leave my mark in the history.


Sunday, February 20, 2011

City Of Joy!!!

It's been some time that I moved to Kolkata the City of Joy. These few months have been a hell of an experince for me both emptionally and career too. Both flying in opposite directions. I did enjoy the company of some of my rely good friends who were with me when I rely needed them. They adviced me on any decision I was not sure of and helped me sail through rely tough hail storms I must say. The last few months I had been rely engrossed in office work. I was sick working on the boring project with half information and slogging in an inhuman way just to get some good ccr. But then one fine day I decided this is so not the purpose of my job. Job is where you do something rely creative where you add values not where you just keep on working without knowing what is the purpose of your work.
This journey of few months have a rely high ups and downs. Initially when I came to Kolkata I used to work for more than 14 hours on an average including weekends. I didnt have any vehicle to commute with. I used to be in office by 10 o clock and used to leave well past midnite. When I came out of office there was a long queue for the nite cab which I could not with stand. After working for so long you have to stand in queue for your office to arrange a vehicle to home. It seemed as if I am working in a BPO. I didnt ever take a cab home. I hated the idea that I had to enroll for something on an online portal and then stand in queue for availing the facility. It seemed so gross. So had to take a taxi if I was lucky enough or if it was a bad day then had to take a cycle rickshaw back home. The battle didnt end here. After college I went to mumbai for the job and was in a habbit of sleeping around 4 o clock in the morning. When I used to enter home at 1 o clock in the nite I used to see my roomates wide awake greeting me while I entered. But things were prettly different here when I used to enter the room at 1 o clock there was complete darkness in the house. Every one except Happy dozzed off at around 11 o clock which is not even the normal hours of sleeping according to me. Not only did it end here I had to freshen up and then switched on the kicthen lights heat up the food and then had a dinner alone watching something in the laptop. This was rely suffocating when I didnt have any one to speak up excluding Happy. Happy also struggled between me and his girl friend. Most of the times he used to parallely conversate with me. This continued till rely long when suddenly my friends Happy and Debu took me for an outing to Mandar Moni. Oh what a trip it was. I was rejuviniated and could start again with a lot of positive energy. Then luckily one thing led to another and then I was relesed from the project. And here I am today sitting back and thinking of the time when I reached Kolkata which was real mess and today totally relaxed taking control of my life.


Friday, February 18, 2011

Happy Ending

Why o Why do we always dream of a happy ending??? There has been always a feeling in our society that there has to be a happy ending of all the stories. Where as in reality it never happens. Most of the times we compromise and think that we will be happy with this compromise. But we live our lives as the wierdest nightmare we could have ever thought of.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Being Hypocrite

This is end of one the worst phases of my life. In this phase there was no struggle for acads or job or money or food. This struggle phase was related to my taking breath and it was related to my feeling that I am alive. It was related to my sleep at night. Everything I had could not give me happiness. Booze, money or gifts nothing charmed me, I had lost all my happiness to that one moment which I recalled was a break up. Things are so complicated with relationships. Sometimes you think you can hadle them so easily and yet deep in the core you hava a doubt. A doubt whihc has foundations on luv, the momentary feeling you had once for some one, the smile that is imprinted in your heart and which you cannot exchange every happiness for life time. We are all in the era where even social gathers are digitized. You may not realise what you have done but your friends sitting with a cell phone in thier hand will get the whole story. In this era where your emotions attached to everything is digitized and is public yet you know there is this thing called heart which still beats million times when you remember a smile which you saw ages ago. Trust me this smile cannot be digitized or re-imprinted by any one. So is it correct when we say that we have forgotten about some one and that we dont remember about the person. Well this is really not possible with our era. They have so much frustration in this dynamic world where everything moves so fast that even a moment of happiness counts a lot in their life. They might not admit it but then its true and will always be true that they will remember some one for their life time.

So am I a hypocrite if I say that I have moved on and will never remember her in my life. I will ignore her when she passes by and will never think of her again. Yes what she did to me was ruthless and that there can be no punishment for it. She broke me when I was just starting my career. I was really serious about her and she left me for some one who she had just met. She lied to me about a lot of things most of which was made up just to make me feel sorry. I knew she is not a good girl at heart and she uses every one in her way to make her things work her way. She has a lot of -ves in her life. But there is this one moment where she seemed so serene so pure so full of luv for me. I do not know whether it was fake or true but then I believed it was true.

Its been 3 years of our break up and we were still in contact when unluckily or luckily we met face to face. There she stood in front of me and I was looking into her eyes and suddenly realized that this is not what I should have waited for so long. This should have ended long back in college or even before that. I do not want to keep any relation with her now not even friendship. May be what I am doing is not the correct path but then this gives me happiness. I am at peace with me and my mind for the first time after so long. It took me so long to cure this mental blockage I had. Cant I be happy at the cost of some one being hurt or sad. I know it not right but dont we have the right to be happy and do things what we feel like. I didnt kill or rape any one. I just cut out all the strings attached after going rely close. But thats what exactly happened to me. I never told any one that I felt low or that I miss her so badly that I had to cry to sleep most of the nights. I could not talk to any girl for this time cause I was rely scared to be part of this game of luv. I do not know if I will be able to forget and ignore her when she passes by but yes the thought that I will be able to do so gives me peace at mind. I dont mind people calling me Hypocrite for this.


Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Moving ON

Yes. It took me some time a lot of patience and then a bit of luck to move on. But now I can forget my past and think about my future. Met up friends from college after long time and had a great time with them. After spending two days with them suddenly felt I no longer had that urge to stay back in those days. I want to look for a different future now. I want to do something new with lot of energy and passion. I think luck will also support me today. I have been waiting for this Move On to happen for 3 years in row now. I was suffocating inside with this relationship break up. Every moment I missed the presence and there was no one with me to share the pain. It so happened that it affected me very drastically. My creativity my will to study my outlook everything was changed and evrything was at a halt. Nothing moved not even a moment. My mind was still lying on desk of the college where we used to sit together. I dont no why did I not Move On then and wasted 3 years of my precious time for some one who is not even close to my worth. I know people take time to get out of things and more than time its the right moment and guidance. You should never meet your ex when they are single it rekndles a lot of false trust and belief that one should not have and is really very dangerous for a person.

I am ready now for the battle called Life. I will fight back as I used to and cope with every problem that comes in my way. I know this was not at all expected that I will be able to for go my ex and try and think about any thing else in life. But then I guess some day I might have done some thing that helped me out here.